Tuesday, March 28

Same song, different tune

The song, "water runs dry" by Boys II Men keeps running through my head, because it makes me think of this whole situation.

Its kind of ironic that I stumbled across this site when I did, and am now curious as to why you got rid of your old page, and when you started posting on the retreats one. Nevertheless, its the same thing over and over again. Looking through all of my old posts-- both the happy ones and the sad ones-- we have the same fight over and over again. Trust. Sharing. Expression. Petty fights. Over and over and over again. You not telling me everything, me telling you everything and then upsetting you. Its just a headache.

And then there are the secrets and the lies and the doubt. The doubt is probably the hardest part of it all, because if you doubt yourself then I think youre hiding something and then I doubt you, and then you doubt me and its this vicious cycle where we both end up screwed in the end.

And I'm just so tired of it all; tired of fighting with you.

So I want to find a way to fix this, once and for all. I don't know what that means, but I want to figure it out because I'm litterally getting sick over all of this, and I refuse to let that happen.

I doubt you'll ever see this and thats probably ok because more than likely it will just continue the rift between us, but I needed to write.