Thursday, July 29

Just an observation...

To me, it seems like we can both identify the issues that we have with the situation, make all the excuses that we possibly can and justify ourselves to eachother to an unrelenting intensity. 

But seriously, what are we doing about it?

yeah its true I cant see how you react when I'm not around, and you can't see how I react either. How I do things for "us" and how I am working for us... so I suppose its an unfair judgement to make on either behalf-- we are judging the other's actions based solely on assumption and not no evidence.

And I may sound a little bit cynical, but I cant help it. Its just who I am, and I figured you would have understood that by now. But whatever.

So I'm not going to push it anymore. I'm just going to sit back and see what happens, let it happen. Because to me, it seems like all this is becoming is one person pushing, whilst the other shoves. Its getting to be pretty ridiculous.

And as for the Tahoe thing-- I was never suggesting that you go and not have fun, so if you gathered that from what I wrote, well, then youre wrong. I do hope that you enjoy yourself. I hope its worth the time and the trip and the energy.

At this point, I dont know what to do or what you want to do with all of this... So I'm just going to let it all go, and I'm going to just hope that your exams went well and that you have a good weekend. And when you dont feel like fighting, maybe we can try this again, because Im just too fatigued for all this.

This summer has become the most tiring summer of my entire life, and its wearing me thin. In every sense of the word. And I know thats not your fault, nor is it my mom's, or work's or anyone's. I suppose it just happens, but I think its getting to be pretty unhealthy-- all of this. Fighting, arguing, living phone call and email by email. Its just not sane and its just not healthy. So I dont knwo what to tell you.

I  hope you enjoy your time this weekend, and good luck.



(oh and because i know you overreact when I post things like this, where it seems so fatal in the end, ill answer the question that you have in your head. No, I'm not breaking up with you. I just want you to enjoy your life, however that may come, however that may be.)


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