Friday, July 2

Its so frustrating.

I dont think you understand how frustrating it is to me when you are so down on yourself and i know its my fault. And when I try to help you be optimistic, because yes this blows, but we cant do anything about it, so we might as well make the best of it, you just shut me down.

I want for nothing more than to make you happy. To make you smile. But lately, it feels like its a hopeless and helpless endeavor, and that nothing will make you happy. I fear that if we do see eachother, that once we are away again, youll be even more down than you already are. Thats what I'm afraid of. And I know you say not to fear and all of that, but when youre like this, I can't help it.

I love you too much to sit back and watch you punish yourself, and make yourself suffer and endure this. But I dont know what else I can do.

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