Friday, July 16

I wish

I wish I understood you. I wish I knew what was going on in your head. I wish that I knew what went wrong earlier or hell, even what happened. But most of all, I wish that I was with you. And I wish that we didn't keep up with this stupid run around, where we hang up in a huff. Whether its you, or whether its me (which I think it usually is,) its tough on us both (I think,) and I just want this time apart to be over. Because when I think about it, even when we were with eachother 24 hours of the day, we didnt fight like this. We didnt get upset with eachother over stupid and petty things. And we didn't let the other person get away with shit like this.
 
I want to go back to that time. Or better yet, I want to make that our future. Where this crap doesnt happen, where you dont get ticked with me over dumb stuff, and I don't get ticked with you over equally dumb stuff.
 
I just want us back. The way we used to be. Happy and in love. Not this depressed crap where we are counting the moments back into eachothers sight. But instead, where we are counting the moments that we are together, ecstatic for each one.
 
3 months is coming up. How shitty is that, that its our second "anniversary" that we won't get to spend together. Yes, aren't I optimistic.
 
I hate it.
 
I hate being without you.
 
But most of all, I hate missing you. I hate not having you (not as in a posession, but you know what I mean,) and I hate not fixing this all the moment it breaks.
 
All the tools and stuff in Home Depot couldn't fix this. The only thing that can, is distance removed. But in order for that to be achieved, is for time to speed up and erase this void between us. How many more days is it?
 
Thats too many, if you ask me.

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