Sunday, June 20

Today...

Well, today isn't always the happiest of days for me, and hasnt been so for the past 19 years almost. I suppose its 18 on a technicality. Its always hard to see so many others celebrating something that you know nothing of, and only experience the emotion of saddness and forlorned longing, instead of the expected content and glee. And I know I'm not the only one who feels like this; wishing that I could celebrate Father's Day with my dad, instead of with his headstone at the cemetary. Wishing that I could have gotten up and made pancakes and had a gift all together, just for him. But instead, I bring him flowers and tears, rather than wrapping paper and smiles.

And I know Its not quite the same for me as it is for others who have lost loved ones more recently, simply because I can only imagine what its like to have a dad, whereas they actually know. But I do know this: no matter how you slice it, it still hurts, and today is still hard.

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